Devil's Dictionary (Revised) - Ambrose Bierce - Definition of Humanity

Devil’s Dictionary (Revised) – Ambrose Bierce – Definition of White Trash Science

White Trash Science:

The ability in homeschoolin or public schoolin in any red state (or Pennsylvania) to achieve just the right level of understanding in chemistry and alchemy to make passable Meth, prove that Darwin was an A-rab, know by devine instinct and the good book that Jesus's pet dinosaur "Spike" was housebroken enough to enter any church or see Global Warming as an ideal excuse on a hot day in July as the right time to steal a cold 30 pack at the local 7/11.


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Devil’s Dictionary (Revised) – Ambrose Bierce – Definition of Senator Ted Cruz of Texas

Definition of Senator Ted Cruz of Texas:

Joe McCarthy in Penny Loafers. (lol)

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Devil’s Dictionary (Revised) – Ambrose Bierce – Definition of Multitasking

Multitasking:

When the Head of a Country’s Secret Police becomes the Emperor, The Emperor becomes the Head of the Police State.

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Devil's Dictionary (Revised) - Ambrose Bierce - Definition of Anarcho-Capitalism

Anarcho-Capitalism:

A mistaken financial, and or a fourth, five or sixth Martini at the Country Club, idea/theory that the whole of human progress can be manipulated or forced along a horseshoe curve back to the Chaos and Anarchy of the Past.  (Also known as Horseshoe Curve-Capitalism.)

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Devil's Dictionary (Revised) - Ambrose Bierce - Definition of Ayn-Ryan Catholicism

Ayn-Ryan Catholicism: 

When Ayn Rand meets Paul Ryan and a socially engineered miracle occurs, demanding a new rewrite of Jesus’s Infamous Sermon at the Mall – “Blessed are the Rich cause they gots, gots, gots bling, bling, bling.” – (with an implied non-verbal subtext of “F*ck 'you' poor little 'people'. Why don’t you just go away and die?”)


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Devil's Dictionary (Revised) - Ambrose Bierce - Definition of Homophobia

Homophobia:

Hiding in a corner with your sexual fears masked in cock sure male (un)certainty – fear of what is sex, what is it all about, how do I use it, and with whom do I use it(?). The fear is not the Homo part but rather the “with whom” part regarding human sexuality.

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Devil's Dictionary (Revised) - Ambrose Bierce - Definition of Seminary

Seminary:
Where the young and or the gullible seek a lifetime meal ticket and spend 8-10 years being brainwashed into believing that they are so very special and somehow magically have all the answers regarding any current local tribal mythologies. 




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