Saturday, August 22, 2009

Michael Jackson's Funeral delayed by Religious Superstition

I see a lot of lame MSM excuses about why Michael Jackson’s funeral of August 29, 2009 have been pushed back to September 3, 2009.

The real reason IMHO is that the burial date August 29 was heralded as Michael’s 51st Birthday and therefore the brain dead reality denying Jehovah Witness branch of his family do not want him buried on a date associated with a holiday – birthday – concept - which ain’t in the Bible and cannot therefore be celebrated.

My favortie joke about Jehovah Witnesses is why do they use underarm deodorant - Jesus never used underarm deodorant - I am so evil - I am hoping the concept works its way into their mainstream gossip/theology network - then you will be able to smell them before they ring your doorbell.

God knows Michael was f**ked up in life by having to submit to this brainwashing crazy theology that changes its focus every decade or so. He won’t be at rest even if they plaster him into the wall at Forest Lawn and disturb the likes of Clark Gable and Carol Lombard with all the goo-goo, drooling, teary eyed fans traipsing through the big marble lined warehouse sized celebrity mausoleum.

He will no doubt get disinterred as soon as they can negotiate an Elvis type spot at the planned amusement park - Neverland tourist trap - after the off ramps from the freeways have been okayed and paid for by a bankrupt California state government.

This denial about birthdays, holidays, blood transfusions, not saluting the flag is all protected for this loser’s religion under the First Amendment to the US Constitution.

I know some Jehovah Witness types. They show up at their non-Jehovah Witness relative’s house on Thanksgiving and Christmas – “just popped in to say hello” – at dinner time – and they bring an appetite like they haven’t eaten for four days. I once saw a thirty pound roast turkey disappear in one hour one Thanksgiving – not even a few bones left for soup. Whatever.

Sorry you can’t rest in peace Michael Jackson. You are too valuable a commodity to be left alone to history – you unfortunately have too many untalented, greedy, hungry Jehovah Witness relatives to support in your life after death.

Rick Santorum Tin Hat Award to Jim DeMint

Earth to Senator DeMint! Earth to Jim DeMint!

Talk to any Aliens lately!?

Senator Jim DeMint, of South Carolina, and “C” Street Church and occasional Brothel Club has his high moral hat on recently. Aside from wanting Obama to fail and in essence send the US into more chaos than the American Empire can handle, he now talks to “immigrants from Iran and Germany” who agree with him that America is going to hell in a hand basket. You have to talk to outsiders to get that opinion? Ever bother talking to your own citizens in the South Carolina?

GOP Sen. De Mint: America Under Obama ‘Headed’ to Regime Like Iran
DeMint previously announced that the Republicans would “break” President Obama by defeating health care reform and he promised it would be Obama’s “Waterloo”

On Hewitt’s show, he described Obama’s response to his attacks, as the President picking on a “junior senator.” He then claimed that immigrants from Iran and Germany told him that the U.S. is headed into the type of totalitarian regimes of the countries that they left.

DeMint said:
“And we’ve seen a lot of countries over the years collapse when they’ve gone down the road that we’re going down. Probably the most heart-wrenching experiences I’ve had over the last several days is when naturalized American citizens who have immigrated here from Germany, Iran and other countries, they come up to me and they say why are we doing what so many have fled from? Why don’t Americans see what we’re doing? And I’ve realized that these people who’ve lived under socialist type economies, and totalitarianism, they know where we’re headed if we don’t turn things around.”
This is the best South Carolina can send to the Senate? Christ! Who do they got as Governor? Jim is a man who can only afford a six hundred dollar a month furnished room in Washington owned by some rather seedy quasi religious group? Let us also not forget that South Carolina believes in creationism where there is no such thing as evolution or monkeys but there your cousin could be your aunt could be your grandmother kind of thing etc. Jim is their man in that big evil capital city. "C" street offers an innocent out of town southern boy a safe "christian" haven and insulation from the evil secular world outside its front door.

From such a diverse cultural and intellectual climate, the Senator from South Carolina Jim DeMint, is also listening to the advice of immigrants from Iran and Germany to deal with and improve our domestic agenda.

My guess having read some of the facts of “C”Street and the Christian Mafia in Jeff Sharlet’s book “The Family” – that who besides non-Doug Coe higher-ups does Jim DeMint talk to except maybe the lowly Doug Coe missionary novices imported from other countries, on work permits?, for a round of the new Coe religion training and who in the name of Jesus clean the toilets at “C” Street. That in the factoid GOP handbook, alien/immigrant/contracted cult labor sounds better if you say they are naturalized citizens for that better sound bite.

My questions to Senator Jim DeMint:
When you are having these aliens/immigrants talking to you? Are these Wilberforce (Money Laundering?) Foundation sponsored cult laborers – are you on or off the toilet as they are cleaning it?

Are these brief encounters with aliens the only people you are allowed to speak to while in residence in your “C" Street crib or while in Washington?

I hereby award the Rick Santorum Tin Hat award to Senator Jim DeMint!

For uniquely unbalanced logic, political analysis, and strangely bizarre off the wall American Conservatism.

Keep up the good work Senator and please remember to flush!