Friday, June 7, 2013

The Baptist Plot to Steal God – Starke Florida, Bradford County

Baptist Version of Ten Commandments
Starke, Florida

At the monthly meeting or the Qiwanis club at the Stale Beef Steer restaurant, the local Qiwanis (Baptists really, wink nod) were trying  to figure a way, how to get tourists to visit a dead spot in the middle of a dead swamp in Florida.

The Stale Beef Steer’s best tourist review in years was on the wall chalk board:

“Traveling through, we stopped here. The service is very good, but unfortunately food quality was poor...dry chicken, tasteless veggies, and so on. Our server kept our drinks full and was friendly. Won't eat here again.

Course yous won’t eat here again. Yous is tourists. LOL

Well anyway, Harry raised his hand and stated something like “We spent twenty five thousand putting up the Protestant Commanments up at the 'Free Speech' park across from the courthouse and down the street from the Death Row Prison of the Florida Prison system, why come no big crowds of white protestants to come and see our new tourist attraction of the Ten Commanments? Stay for lunch. Fill the local Baptist churches…?”

“Maybe we shud a used them Catholic or Lutheran Commanments?”

“No. God dictated the Protestant Commanments to Moses and God don’t make no mistakes. Besides, who’s gots another 25 grand to attract the flies, the papists, I mean the Catholics.”

“Let’s get them atheists, not the real ones, but the Madeline Mary O’Hair Atheists all riled up and have them build a monument to their false beliefs and denial of the one true God and the one true Baptist religion”.

”Great idea. Those atheists are tax dodges and such. They could use the publically same as us. It is after all just a business, filling the pews on Sundays, putting the fear of God in everybody on both sides of the aisle of belief or non-belief.”

All agreed. Vote. Aye!

Let’s all ajourn and have some real lunch. I vote we move this meeting to the Popeye’s across the street.

Aye! Unanymous.


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