Ted Cruz Attacks Vampire Minority in Texas on his Favebook Page

http://dailycaller.com/2014/07/22/ted-cruz-responds-to-yet-another-hbo-attack-on-republicans/

“Sunday night, they aired a misogynist and profanity-ridden episode where Texas Republicans are murdered attending a ‘Ted Cruz fundraiser.’ Well, I’m sorry to have lost the vampire vote, but am astonished (and amused) that HBO is suggesting that hard-core leftists are blood-sucking fiends….,” wrote Cruz.

In the episode, two vampires plot to enter the “Ted Cruz fundraiser,” being held at the George W. Bush Presidential Library in Dallas, to track down one of their enemies. As the vampires are dressing up in stereotypical Texas Republican attire, the female vampire exclaims, “Oh my God, I’m a Republicunt.”

http://www.thevine.com.au/entertainment/news/true-blood-season-7-episode-5-lost-cause-20140722-283402/

Eric and Pam tracked down Sarah’s Hep-V infected sister (Amber Newlin) who directed them to a fundraiser (for) Ted Cruz (I googled him Australians, he’s real) at the George W. Bush presidential library. “Security will be tight and they only invite assholes,” Amber Newlin says, just in case you had any misconception about the political leanings of this show. “You don’t know us, sweetheart. We can be assholes,” says Eric with a smile. Oof.

Now that Eric has developed Stage 2 symptoms (yep, it looks an awful lot like Stage 1) they need to find Sarah Newlin fast. I’m not going to acknowledge that Eric is dying, because I don’t want it to happen. Are we clear? Alright then.

Pam and Eric dress up as “Republicunts” and scan the room for the Newlins. “These bitches all look the same,” Pam drawls. Meanwhile Sarah and her mum (the mum from My So Called Life!) are in the bathroom wondering if a well-timed call to Laura Bush could save Sarah from her Japanese assassin-laden fate. “I’m not a monster, I’m a Buddhist!” Sarah cries, as her mother looks disgustedly at her newly brunette hair.

Eric barely has time to glamour anyone before the Yakuza storm in and start shooting Republicans in cowboy hats! They shoot Sarah’s dad point blank in the head! They spray Sarah’s mum with bullets and then for good measure, shoot her even more! GOD I LOVE HBO! 

.

Christian Vampire Preacher Steve Newlin still Preaching Je$u$ - Amen - True Blood

It is amazing to live long enough and see all the con artist televangelists like Jimmy Swaggart, Jim and Tammy Baker, Pat Robertson and the Graham boys, father and son act, get away with so much fraud regarding the real Jesus and hundreds of millions raked in annually from a bunch of dumb rubes in the tent.  

And of course there is that over 50 RC female demographic that continues to fund the bishops and keeps their child rape rings going, that is so disheartening.

I have found the perfect offset recently or comic relief in the televangelist character Steve Newlin on the HBO Vampire soap series True Blood.

In case you never watch, "Tru Blood" is a chemical cocktail, invented by the Japanese, that is a perfect substitute for human blood. As such there is a coming out of the closet and or coffin of vampires trying to mainstream themselves into everyday humanity.

Steve Newlin is an evangelist bent on ridding humanity of the newly uncloseted uncasketed vampire minority. His parents were killed by vampires.  He wants to destroy this struggling minority before they gain full legal recognition in the eyes of the law.  He even runs a paramilitary anti-vampire training group that conducts guerilla warfare on the vampire community.

Now the vampire community is not all innocence and love.  It is all PR as they try to mask centuries of bloodshed and killings that have resourced their particular lifestyle.

Jason "Born Again" Stackhouse

Into Reverend Newlin’s anti-vampire boot camp wanders the aimless soul/stud of Jason Stackhouse, brother of the main character of the show Sookie Stackhouse.  Jason is looking for more than the run of the mill Jesus stuff.  He eventually finds his way into the Rev. Newlin’s wife’s bed but that is Jason, who is rarely not naked, rarely not in coitus in this HBO soap. This all takes place in the south in Louisiana. Where else.

Well the new season for a twist has Rev. Steve Newlin now turned into a Vampire and as an added bonus is out of his sexual closet and hot on the trail of Jason Stackhouse’s usually naked ass.

LMAO

Steve Newlin

Steve Newlin is a former reverend of the Fellowship of the Sun and recently turned vampire. The son of anti-vampire advocate Theodore Newlin, he initially continued his father's work after the murder of his entire family. He was a fanatic and a firm believer that vampires were 'ungodly creatures' who knew no 'humanity'. However, after becoming a vampire himself, he seems to relish his new undead status, rather joyfully remarking how humans should be treated like cattle. 

Newlin is first presented as somewhat of a well-spoken man with a friendly disposition that, while a little odd at times, is altogether cheerful. However, as the series progresses, we see that most of this is a front for his hatred for what happened to him and his family. He is shown to be unstable and unhinged beneath his amiable facade. As a vampire, this tendency seems even more pronounced.

And worse than all that, Revered Steve Newlin cannot give up his calling to Jesus.

He still has his meal ticket TV ministry and not surprisingly his Jesus is in favor the eternal life of vampires.

Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus…

Etc.

True Blood

(Warning: Don’t invite any vampires or televangelists into your homes!)


LOL

.