Dave’s in the Hospital (in Britain)

Dave's In Hospital


Who the hell is Dave ?

Well Dave is the geezer who got home late one night and Marilyn his wife, says "Where the hell have you been?" 

Dave replies "I was getting a tattoo!"

"A tattoo??" She frowned. "What kind of tattoo did you get?" 

"I got a hundred pound note on my privates" he said proudly. 

"What the hell were you thinking"? She said, shaking her head in disgust. "Why on earth would a Chartered Accountant get a hundred pound note tattooed on his privates?"

"Well, one, I like to watch my money grow.

Two, once in a while I like to play with my money.

Three, I like how money feels in my hand. 

And, lastly, instead of you going out shopping, you can stay right here at home and blow a hundred pounds anytime you want."


Dave is now in The Manchester Royal Infirmary, Critical Care Unit, Room 233. 

No visitors until further notice.

http://wirednewyork.com/forum/showthread.php?t=37441&p=434011#post434011

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Oh I Finally Get It – Romney is the Straight Man and Ryan is the Comedian

First thing this morning on the web news page I saw an image, got a mixed message, with an image of young healthy handsome Paul Ryan next to a headline of

Romney slams Obama over Medicare, pledges more help for 'poor' and 'sick'

http://nbcpolitics.nbcnews.com/_news/2012/08/18/13347755-romney-slams-obama-over-medicare-pledges-more-help-for-poor-and-sick?lite

The combination of the image of Mount Rushmore chiseled Paul and Mitt’s “Pledges more help for the ‘poor’ and ‘sick’" put me in mind of straight man/comic comedy teams.  And in all deference to the great Jerry Lewis, I thought of Martin and Lewis above.  Especially since they have decided that “comedian” Paul Ryan cannot be trusted with the straight “medicare” lines in punch line delivery at this early stage of the comedy hour campaign.

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=159072889

The nation's most controversial budget architect, Ryan is often described as the intellectual leader of the House Republican caucus. But Romney's Boston headquarters — so far, at least — seems to prefer that the 42-year-old father of three talks about camping and milking cows instead of the transformational budget proposals that made him a conservative hero. 

Ryan, who wrote a plan to overhaul Medicare as chairman of the House Budget Committee, did not use the word "Medicare" with voters over the first four days on the campaign trail. When he finally touched on the health care insurance program for seniors, he did so only in broad strokes after Romney himself first outlined the campaign's talking points. 

"We will not duck the tough issues," Ryan declared in Virginia on Friday. "We will lead."

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Jesus and the Parable of the Unions

Got an e-mail from my old friend Jesus, a retired dude in Vegas.

He thinks that union workers are near the bottom rung socially and economically these days.

Jesus tells me that this image of unionized automobile workers in their glory days past of great wages and benefits is the false union image the whining employers are trying to sell to other points on the population spectrum at the moment.

Then Jesus told me a story, a parable or actually a joke. Jesus has a great sense of humor IMHO.

A unionized public employee, a teabagger and a CEO are sitting at a table. In the middle of the table is a plate with a dozen cookies on it. The CEO reaches across and takes 11 cookies, looks at the teabagger and says, "watch out for that union guy, he wants a piece of your cookie."(anonymous)

I got the joke the first time round. Jesus says that a lot of people in America just don't get the joke or see the humor or the injustice of it all.

Oh well. Maybe Jesus can come up with a better joke in his next e-mail to me.

Have a nice day.

Obama – Jokes in Bad Taste

Barack Obama is by some sources Christian Lite. The fact that he possesses some Christian convictions or way of looking at the world is not good enough for the mean spirited holier than thou right.

The left’s elites are many times non-believers. That term these days could mean anything from atheist to just don’t care about organized religion.

In many ways the comments from Rush Limbaugh about an eastern establishment controlling the media, aside from his corpulent self serving gluttonous eastern establishment self, have some basis in fact. Obama gets free passes from that media on the religion thing.

Of course Obama heard Reverend Wright say nasty things about America. Reverend Wright and his generation have some right in airing grievances against a country that once officially and now occasionally treats him as a second class citizen.

Obama distanced himself from Wright when the self serving right focused media started to magnify Reverend Wright’s political incorrectness.

The whole thing about not wanting to inconvenience church congregations by attending church in Washington D.C. with thirty odd vehicles in the Presidential entourage makes sense. And besides, these days, who goes to church every Sunday anymore.

All in all, I give points to Obama for not wearing his religious beliefs on his sleeve or a pin on his lapel. He does not go on and on in boring nonsense about being a born again whatever.

I do draw the line at bad jokes. No, not the jokes with bad or racy language. I draw the line at part of his delivery this past week at the Correspondents Dinner where the host Jay Leno proved himself the non-talented hack that he is. I refer to Obama’s unchristian inhumane joke about Drones:

"Jonas Brothers are here, they're out there somewhere. Sasha and Malia are huge fans, but boys, don't get any ideas. Two words for you: predator drones. You will never see it coming. You think I'm joking?"

Barry bombed with that joke as far as I am concerned.

One of the things rumored to have turned half baked American citizen Faisal Shahzad into a half baked would be terrorist bomber and mass murderer is his reaction or witness to the death of innocent citizens in his native Pakistan by use of these robots of mass murder.

Drones may look good on paper and the generals in the Pentagon can watch live on satellite the death of real terrorists mixed with the general population getting vaporized in some sort of cost saving modern day Pentagon Video Game.

Just because a half baked Christian or Christian Like President signs off on these weapons of mass destruction in a foreign artificial theatre of war is no reason to joke about the misuse of these weapons as tools for collateral damage as he used last Saturday night.

Obama. Fire your asshole joke writer.

Obama. Consider what it really is, besides political, to be a true Christian.