Rapture Cancelled – by This Cultural Christian

Talk about the rapture happening, whatever that is, on May 21, 2011, is just that - talk.

I just got word that it is not a sure bet. So what the heck, here goes.

The Rapture IMHO as predicted for May 21, 2011 is hereby cancelled.

You can quote me!

I called my friend Jesus, a retired dude in Vegas, to get the odds at one of the casinos on the end of the world as a hedged bet.

“Waste of money dude! The world ain’t gonna end anytime soon. It is the end of your world that you should be thinking about, preparing for mentally and spiritually.

“Rapture. What the hell is that? Where in the funny book is it written down that the world ends on Saturday?”

To which I replied .

“Okay dude. Chill. But there are an awful lot of fairytale Christians running around thinking they are getting a free ride to heaven on Saturday. “

To which he replied.

“Ain’t no free lunch on earth or any free rides to heaven. They should now that. You want to go to heaven – you’ve already arrived - heaven is here on this earth. Worry about the life after when you get there. We all got reservations don’t you know? I got to run. General Hospital is starting. Bye guy.”

I just also heard from a friend of a friend of a friend that some poor fool on Staten Island just paid $140,000 of their life savings to pay for billboards around New York City in support of this Rapture Rumor BS thing. Quick! Try and get your money back.

A lunatic or I should say Fairytale Christian Harold Whathisname should be indicted for fraud or at the very least lose his tax free religion status in punishment for this malicious superstitious pagan prank on humanity.

April Fool’s day is supposed to be April the first.

Whatever.

Have a nice day and a full nice weekend.

P.S.

May 24, 2011

Brother Harold was wrong and now he is resetting God's clock to end on October 21, 2011.

This Cultural Christian hereby cancels the Rapture and or the End of the World on October 21.

My friend Jesus (Hay-soos) in Vegas agrees with me on that according to the betting odds at the casinos there.

Have a nice life you old fraud Harold.   Don't fleece too many sheep this time.  LOL