Saturday, August 22, 2009

Michael Jackson's Funeral delayed by Religious Superstition

I see a lot of lame MSM excuses about why Michael Jackson’s funeral of August 29, 2009 have been pushed back to September 3, 2009.

The real reason IMHO is that the burial date August 29 was heralded as Michael’s 51st Birthday and therefore the brain dead reality denying Jehovah Witness branch of his family do not want him buried on a date associated with a holiday – birthday – concept - which ain’t in the Bible and cannot therefore be celebrated.

My favortie joke about Jehovah Witnesses is why do they use underarm deodorant - Jesus never used underarm deodorant - I am so evil - I am hoping the concept works its way into their mainstream gossip/theology network - then you will be able to smell them before they ring your doorbell.

God knows Michael was f**ked up in life by having to submit to this brainwashing crazy theology that changes its focus every decade or so. He won’t be at rest even if they plaster him into the wall at Forest Lawn and disturb the likes of Clark Gable and Carol Lombard with all the goo-goo, drooling, teary eyed fans traipsing through the big marble lined warehouse sized celebrity mausoleum.

He will no doubt get disinterred as soon as they can negotiate an Elvis type spot at the planned amusement park - Neverland tourist trap - after the off ramps from the freeways have been okayed and paid for by a bankrupt California state government.

This denial about birthdays, holidays, blood transfusions, not saluting the flag is all protected for this loser’s religion under the First Amendment to the US Constitution.

I know some Jehovah Witness types. They show up at their non-Jehovah Witness relative’s house on Thanksgiving and Christmas – “just popped in to say hello” – at dinner time – and they bring an appetite like they haven’t eaten for four days. I once saw a thirty pound roast turkey disappear in one hour one Thanksgiving – not even a few bones left for soup. Whatever.

Sorry you can’t rest in peace Michael Jackson. You are too valuable a commodity to be left alone to history – you unfortunately have too many untalented, greedy, hungry Jehovah Witness relatives to support in your life after death.

1 comment:

Dave said...

JW's don't bother me anymore. As kids our Mom told us to hide and be quiet if they came to the door and we never opened the door. They come to see me often and I accept their tracts mainly because the woman leader is a knock out looker and she always dresses to kill. What can I say..I'm a sucker for a pretty face.