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| Spreadsheet Bible Jesus Riding Pet Dinosaur "Spike" |
Of course you cannot deny the existence of the bones of Dinosaurs, but since the Earth is only 6,000 Years Old in a Perfect Market Economy Capitalist world, and you are on your own foraging for food and seeking shelter under decaying infrastructure underpasses etc., it is highly likely that Jesus, who defends Free Market Capitalism rode a Dinosaur according to homeschooled children's coloring books.
Jesus would not take a grimy little poor people's socialist funded bus to his preaching gigs. He saved up and used a Cadillac Chariot.
Jesus looked ahead, invested with his local financial adviser in a 401K heavily leveraged into a hedge fund, looking forward to a fat retirement fund.
He believed in this, in the hope that God would bless him and lift him out of his poverty if God thought he deserved it.
This in case his dad did not ask him to commit joint Patricide/Regicide/Suicide and save everybody from hell etc.
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