M. Bachmann – Welfare Queen – Iowa Hate Pledge - Christian Sharia

Michele Bachmann and Rick Santorum seem to be having a love affair.  No. Not sex.  (Even if that was technically possible for these two.)  But I think she is tops in any case.

No. They have been the first Republican candidates in the Iowa Primary to sign some sort of pledge that I label the IOWA HATE PLEDGE.  Don’t let the word HATE scare you. The word is not actually mentioned – it is encoded in the message.  “Don’t be afraid” like what the average angel will tell you when he is about to deliver a shit filled message from God. You will get used to it.  They are only trying to protect us from reality and replace it with their own version of good old fashioned, American Town Square, reality.

This so called proper Christian Sharia Pledge (real name – encoded)  is an attempt by God fearing people to finally, once and for all,  define what really really is marriage. I have found it wanting in direct clear language.  

Is this declaration more GOP code talk?  Wink. Nod.  (Wide stance etc.)  You betcha.

Why don’t they just say what they really mean to these hick dirt farmers in Iowa who they are  really are dissing by their stupid, Hateful, Christian Sharia wish list of all things anti-secular, anti-human/humane.

I have a few editorial suggestions and additions to more correctly add the right flavor to this piece of literary garbage:

• Since white people used to be able to act more decent in public, not shout into cell phones, not dress like whores, not slobbering on their sweats over slurpies at Sam’s Club, new rule books of conduct and dress codes in the new Christian world order are available at Bachmann/Santorum election headquarters.
• There is absolutely no truth to the secular rumor that high fructose corn syrup causes divorce, that according to one of our agribusiness corporate sponsors.
• Dusk to dawn curfews nationwide will begin shortly so people can stay home and read their bibles.
• Poor people should just up and die.   Don’t they understand like how stupid they are for being poor?  Duh!  The poor will not always be with US.
• Marriage is between one Arian man and one Arian female.  (on all other matters of a delicate sexual nature, ancient and sacred Nuremburg rules to be honored)
• All Muslim Sharia Law is verboten.  Only Christian Sharia Law shall be imposed on this land, God’s country USA.
• Online Porn does not sell more in red states.  Though a business discount to red state residents should be mandated in a Constitutional amendment.
• The word vagina is to be erased from every dictionary in the land. If necessary, burn down the local library that offends thee.
• Blasphemy laws must mandate death or deportation back to the land of their  inferior ancestors for all who question God and or the one true exceptional A-merican Christianity.

Any questions?  No. There shouldn’t be.  If you know what I mean.