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Baptist Version of Ten Commandments Starke, Florida |
At the monthly meeting or the Qiwanis club at the Stale Beef Steer restaurant, the local Qiwanis (Baptists really, wink nod) were trying to figure a way, how to get tourists to visit
a dead spot in the middle of a dead swamp in Florida.
The Stale Beef Steer’s best tourist review in years was on the wall
chalk board:
“Traveling through, we stopped here.
The service is very good, but unfortunately food quality was poor...dry
chicken, tasteless veggies, and so on. Our server kept our drinks full and was
friendly. Won't eat here again.“
Course yous won’t eat here again. Yous is tourists. LOL
Well anyway, Harry raised his hand
and stated something like “We spent twenty five thousand putting up the
Protestant Commanments up at the 'Free Speech' park across from the courthouse
and down the street from the Death Row Prison of the Florida Prison system, why
come no big crowds of white protestants to come and see our new tourist
attraction of the Ten Commanments? Stay for lunch. Fill the local Baptist
churches…?”
“Maybe we shud a used them Catholic
or Lutheran Commanments?”
“No. God dictated the Protestant Commanments
to Moses and God don’t make no mistakes. Besides, who’s gots another 25 grand
to attract the flies, the papists, I mean the Catholics.”
“Let’s get them atheists, not the
real ones, but the Madeline Mary O’Hair Atheists all riled up and have them
build a monument to their false beliefs and denial of the one true God and the
one true Baptist religion”.
”Great idea. Those atheists are tax
dodges and such. They could use the publically same as us. It is after all just
a business, filling the pews on Sundays, putting the fear of God in everybody
on both sides of the aisle of belief or non-belief.”
All agreed. Vote. Aye!
Let’s all ajourn and have some real lunch.
I vote we move this meeting to the Popeye’s across the street.
Aye! Unanymous.
.