Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Christian Vampire Preacher Steve Newlin still Preaching Je$u$ - Amen - True Blood



It is amazing to live long enough and see all the con artist televangelists like Jimmy Swaggart, Jim and Tammy Baker, Pat Robertson and the Graham boys, father and son act, get away with so much fraud regarding the real Jesus and hundreds of millions raked in annually from a bunch of dumb rubes in the tent.  

And of course there is that over 50 RC female demographic that continues to fund the bishops and keeps their child rape rings going, that is so disheartening.

I have found the perfect offset recently or comic relief in the televangelist character Steve Newlin on the HBO Vampire soap series True Blood.

In case you never watch, "Tru Blood" is a chemical cocktail, invented by the Japanese, that is a perfect substitute for human blood. As such there is a coming out of the closet and or coffin of vampires trying to mainstream themselves into everyday humanity.

Steve Newlin is an evangelist bent on ridding humanity of the newly uncloseted uncasketed vampire minority. His parents were killed by vampires.  He wants to destroy this struggling minority before they gain full legal recognition in the eyes of the law.  He even runs a paramilitary anti-vampire training group that conducts guerilla warfare on the vampire community.

Now the vampire community is not all innocence and love.  It is all PR as they try to mask centuries of bloodshed and killings that have resourced their particular lifestyle.

Jason "Born Again" Stackhouse
Into Reverend Newlin’s anti-vampire boot camp wanders the aimless soul/stud of Jason Stackhouse, brother of the main character of the show Sookie Stackhouse.  Jason is looking for more than the run of the mill Jesus stuff.  He eventually finds his way into the Rev. Newlin’s wife’s bed but that is Jason, who is rarely not naked, rarely not in coitus in this HBO soap. This all takes place in the south in Louisiana. Where else.

Well the new season for a twist has Rev. Steve Newlin now turned into a Vampire and as an added bonus is out of his sexual closet and hot on the trail of Jason Stackhouse’s usually naked ass.

LMAO


Steve Newlin is a former reverend of the Fellowship of the Sun and recently turned vampire. The son of anti-vampire advocate Theodore Newlin, he initially continued his father's work after the murder of his entire family. He was a fanatic and a firm believer that vampires were 'ungodly creatures' who knew no 'humanity'. However, after becoming a vampire himself, he seems to relish his new undead status, rather joyfully remarking how humans should be treated like cattle. 
Newlin is first presented as somewhat of a well-spoken man with a friendly disposition that, while a little odd at times, is altogether cheerful. However, as the series progresses, we see that most of this is a front for his hatred for what happened to him and his family. He is shown to be unstable and unhinged beneath his amiable facade. As a vampire, this tendency seems even more pronounced.

And worse than all that, Revered Steve Newlin cannot give up his calling to Jesus.

He still has his meal ticket TV ministry and not surprisingly his Jesus is in favor the eternal life of vampires.

Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus…

Etc.


(Warning: Don’t invite any vampires or televangelists into your homes!)


LOL


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