“Sunday night, they aired a misogynist and
profanity-ridden episode where Texas Republicans are murdered attending a ‘Ted
Cruz fundraiser.’ Well, I’m sorry to have lost the vampire vote, but am
astonished (and amused) that HBO is suggesting that hard-core leftists are
blood-sucking fiends….,” wrote Cruz.
In the episode, two vampires plot to enter the “Ted
Cruz fundraiser,” being held at the George W. Bush Presidential Library in
Dallas, to track down one of their enemies. As the vampires are dressing up in stereotypical
Texas Republican attire, the female vampire exclaims, “Oh my God, I’m a
Republicunt.”
Eric and
Pam tracked down Sarah’s Hep-V infected sister (Amber Newlin) who directed them to a
fundraiser (for) Ted Cruz (I googled him Australians, he’s real) at the George W.
Bush presidential library. “Security will be tight and they only invite
assholes,” Amber Newlin says, just in case you had any misconception about the
political leanings of this show. “You don’t know us, sweetheart. We can be
assholes,” says Eric with a smile. Oof.
Now that Eric has developed Stage 2 symptoms (yep, it looks an
awful lot like Stage 1) they need to find Sarah Newlin fast. I’m not going to
acknowledge that Eric is dying, because I don’t want it to happen. Are we
clear? Alright then.
Pam and Eric dress up as “Republicunts” and scan the room for
the Newlins. “These bitches all look the same,” Pam drawls. Meanwhile Sarah and
her mum (the mum from My So Called Life!) are in the
bathroom wondering if a well-timed call to Laura Bush could save Sarah from her
Japanese assassin-laden fate. “I’m not a monster, I’m a Buddhist!” Sarah cries,
as her mother looks disgustedly at her newly brunette hair.
Eric barely has time to glamour anyone before the Yakuza storm
in and start shooting Republicans in cowboy hats! They shoot Sarah’s dad point
blank in the head! They spray Sarah’s mum with bullets and then for good
measure, shoot her even more! GOD I LOVE HBO!
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